Tactics and cat tricks....

Each morning I raise the blinds in the kitchen, to find this cheeky crew waiting.... expecting to be entertained. "We want to play". They're not even my cats. They turn up from around the neighbourhood, apparently this is the place to be.

If the window is even the slightest bit ajar, there will be mischievous paws wheedling their way in trying to hook up anything within reach. I worry about them sometimes, because if the window is open far enough they'll turn their head sideways and push it through the gap. Finding themselves stuck, they panic and start scrabbling about, ultimately falling off the windowsill. I have to make sure the window is free to allow them not to strangle themselves but then with a combined effort they can break in!...They know what they're doing!

Should you have the audacity to be in a rush and not have time to play, then you get these sort of delay tactics. While you're moving this one away from certain death, another one has slunk into the car and lodged itself under the seat.

It's no use, I'm going to have to go and play, at least for a while....



When Barkfoots away... the cats will play! Just make sure you don't leave anything delicate or valuable around, or it will be mauled to death. Especially don't leave anything small enough to be carried because they go off with them. Their owners must be very confused with some of the stuff they come home with!
Of course sometimes boredom sets in and tempers fray....but next morning they're back on the windowsill all friends once more, waiting to see if Barkfoot can come out to play....

My Bionic leg....

When they put the metalwork in my leg I had high hopes. At last, a bionic leg, a childhood dream. As a kid I'd run around the garden pretending to be the '6 million dollar man' and now I had my very own modifications! I took this picture at the hospital (yes, the video camera goes with me everywhere) when, after a month I had the cast removed so that they could 're-align' my foot. A technical adjustment I thought.....No, one nurse held me in the chair while a doctor used both hands and some force to position things 'just right' as he put it, and then back in a cast for another month..Yippeeee!
Still, it would all be worth it when it got better and I would be able to run at 60mph (or maybe hop at 45mph) just like my hero. WHAT a disappointment! Nothing. No special abilities, couldn't hop over buildings or anything. In fact, it seems worse than the original. It feels cold inside during winter and when I tap my foot to music it performs its own percussion section.

To top it, the other week I couldn't figure out why my compass fluctuated every time I sat down with it. Blow me down, it's my bionic ankle. I don't know how it's got magnetised, maybe I should keep away from the microwave. 4 degrees out it shows on the compass, so now when I'm navigating not only do I have to compensate for the dickey leg, I have to take the earths magnetic field being out of skew as well. Maybe the two will cancel each other out.

The electronic compass doesn't misbehave, I don't think it's as sensitive.

We need more tests....

Right, a resistivity test. I have to do this properly, so, I need the 'subject' leg, a 'comparison' leg, and a 'control' leg. Oh, bugger, I've run out of legs... OK for the interest of thoroughness, Max the cat is now the 'control' leg.

The results aren't conclusive. 'Subject' and 'comparison' legs show similar readings, either these are highly conductive, or cats are very resistive...OOow! Yes, the cat seems to be getting very resistive now.

At last. After exhaustive research, I've discovered my bionic legs hidden capability......

If I moisten the end of this electrical lead and securely duct tape it into place and then attach the other end to my scanner.....

..... I can pick up the local airport!

Cat Burglars!....

All was quiet in the garden...too quiet! The mice were hiding in the ivy, the birds were nowhere to be seen.... "You found it?", "Yeah, there's loads!"

"Shift over, I'm coming down."

"It's not very big is it? It looks huge from the ground." "You're on my tail!"

"You get what you can, I'll keep look out."

"Well who's that then, down there?" "It's just one of the 'uprights' from the big house, you know, the one thats always got that goggly eye thing all the while!" "Oh, he's alright, he won't tell, I'll smarm up to him later, he's a succer for that."

"Come here, there's some more, I can smell it!"

"I don't get it, if it's meant for us why put it in this cage thingy?"

"What ARE you two up to?!" "Nuffing......"

Two become one.....

It was the tiny twins 1st birthday on Saturday ( see them hatch and grow at http://russandmax.blogspot.com/ ) and we were all invited to a party.....
We've had rain for days and days, but Maxine ordered some sunshine and it arrived an hour early!

There were plenty of helium balloons, but not quite enough to achieve 'zero gravity' for a small child...shame!

The twins received loads of presents. Shiny paper, twinkly ribbons, brightly coloured bows....all their favourite things! Some of them had stuff inside.

All children had to be 'spun' regularly, it was the rule. Or so they told me. Safety was paramount, all hands were applied with sticky chocolate cake to avoid slipping.

I was glad when Jon and my brother Russell arrived to take over the fairground duties as my war wounds were beginning to play up.

The paparazzi were out in force. The twins lapped up the attention, playing to the cameras.

Although I set the shutter speed to 'Max', she proved difficult to capture on film. Trays of yummy food magically appeared, spillages were wiped and all by the blur known as Maxine!!

I had an informative crawl around the garden with the twins. The stone steps were a bit hard on the knees, but we found some bad plants we shouldn't eat and some good plants we could. The Rosemary smelt odd, but we rubbed it on our noses anyway.

Sometimes when it all gets too much, Daddy makes it alright again. "I'll hit him with this brick, then he'll know that I care."

The peaceful game of garden Jenga inevitably descended into civil war. Wooden blocks were violently exchanged as tiredness and 'e' numbers distorted young minds perception of fair play. A peacekeeping force was brought in and an uneasy ceasefire was maintained.

Chris loved playing the 'slam the door shut' game, honing his skills for his teenage years.

A great tiny tots teatime toy time time was had by all!

The nine lives of Lucy...

Lucy, if that is her name, I'm not sure, isn't my cat. She lives up the road, but we've become good friends. She is forever in the back garden, day and night, hunting and getting into mischief!
Then, gone... haven't seen her for well over a week. Much too fond of bolting across the busy road without looking, I fear the worse.
While sitting on my log in the long grass at the top of the garden drinking coffee, a face suddenly appears!

Yes, 'cheekychops' was back!

"Wad you mean, where have I been?"

Lucy brought along a 'worried' looking friend. This is the nervous kitten that always runs away when you approach. It spends literally hours crouched under the bird table looking up expectantly. Not unusual for a cat you think, but this kitten does it at night! Who knows it might get lucky and catch a passing owl or night jar, but I don't think so!

Now bold with the back up of her new 'hard' mate, she was brave enough to taunt this innocent beech mast floating in the bird bath.

Although she couldn't quite figure out why when she stood on this one particular spot under the wobbly bird bath it would mysteriously begin to rain....RAIN..run away, STOPPED RAINING, creep back to the same spot...RAIN..run away...creep back.. She'll learn, or maybe not!

Happy to be back, even though she denies going anywhere, she was determined not to be moved from the warm, sunny bench at any cost!!

PLeeeaasse don't make me get off, I'll be good. What can you do? Looks like it's my turn on the floor again...