Tuesday, 27 January 2009

Countdown to chaos...

The news today informed me of yet another pointless death at the hands of our unruly youth. A local man was beaten to death by feral kids for the bottle of wine he'd bought to accompany the dinner with his wife. I'm beginning to despair at the remorseless countdown towards complete social breakdown. Each month the government announces more and more crappy laws each diminishing my freedom but empowering the yob....
What happened to commonsense???... This obituary published in the London Times might explain...

"Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was,
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He
will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the
worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could
not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses;
and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a
burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by
his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone..."

Friday, 2 January 2009

Mist friends...

Holiday fever had set in pretty bad. The symptoms were restless legs, grumpiness (even more than usual), and a slight thickening around my waist... a hefty dose of the outdoors was the remedy.Several days and nights of freezing fog had left the world encrusted with frost. The lakes were frozen but not thick enough to support my bulk over to the little island.
I cut across the frozen wetlands to a favourite spot. Put up one of my ever faithful hammocks, and settled myself down for a long wait...
After much toe wriggling and face pulling to stop myself setting solid, through the gentle cold mist my guests began to arrive.

The wild ponies hate to be pursued, but their natural curiosity always gets the better of them, and one by one they appeared.
At first they'll pretend that they haven't seen you, congregating a little way off.
Next comes the nod. The boss pony will give you the 'I see you signal', a reciprocal nod back lets him know that I mean no harm.
Then follows a bit of mutual exaggerated over casual behaviour, before eventually...
...a friendly face plods over to say hello.
From then on, you're one of the gang; even if you do look different and smell of coffee!...

Remember... simply click on any of the pictures for extra 'bigness'!!!...