An average Weekend....

Minding my own business cleaning my car to the rear of the house; I hear a police siren, then another. All is quiet (well as quiet as it gets on this main road) for about 5 mins then I hear all this screaming and shouting as twenty odd kids come swarming down the road. Just a "chavs" day out I thought, until another police siren came into earshot. A startled hermit crab would withdraw into it's shell, chavs also hide in their shell(suits). Hoods up or caps pulled down they scattered, running breathless (from smoking from the age of five) in every direction. A group of "yobblings" bolted up my drive, and, as I debated whether to get "Mr. Sick" they turned about and made another desperate dash for cover. The Police managed to intercept some of the larger chavs, but the smaller unarrestable ones were left and not pursued because it may have demoralised them and stunted their social developement!!!!

"Mr. Stick" is 3 feet, 6 inches and made of good well seasoned pine. "Mr. Stick" helps me explain things to people not "willing" to learn.
Saturday night and I've settled down for the evening. The phone rings, and it is my sister. "I've crashed the car" she explains. "But I'm alright" she continues, "can you come and help?". Well I think what I might need to take. My head torch (because it's on a pitch black road), a few tools (the wing might need pulling away from the wheel), a tow rope (I bet she skidded into a ditch). As I pulled out of a lane onto the dark road I drove slowly so I could easily spot her. No nothing, but, as I reached the brow of the hill I could see a haze of multi coloured lights!...Two fire engines, an ambulance, four police cars and a good scattering of flourescent jacketed people waving torches to direct traffic!

The car was a mess. Forlornly lying on its roof like a turned tortoise, its little wheels helpless in the air. The once shiny panels now spattered with freshly ploughed up turf.

The road was wet and greasy, an oncoming car had failed to dip its lights. Blinded she had pulled away from the kerb on the left, but too sharply, and getting the car into a pendulumn slide eventually lost control.

The back wheels hit the kerb first, shortly followed by the front. With car sliding sideways, the back end dragging in the hedge the wheels began to dig into the soft verge, and over it went!

It slid further on its roof, wiping out the overgrown gorse at the side of the road. A gentle slope guided it back to road where it came to rest at the kerb.

After a brief struggle with the seatbelt, she managed to get out.

(sister with dad)
After a sniff of oxygen and an application of a warm coat she was free to go home!

Freindly Mr Policeman checks to see if the tax disc is up to date!

60 mph slide and then a roll, and to walk away without a scratch, tough little cars those Micras!!