How to eat Snails...

Like unruly youths, the fox cubs are hanging out in the street looking for mischief.

Ears tipped forward like radar dishes, anything that crosses their path is scrutinised for food potential.

Doesn't matter what it is... moths, beetles, worms, spiders. They even eye up the Tawny Owl that sits on the top of the telegraph pole. There is a strange combination of rivalry and mutual curiosity.

Occasionally there is a treat, but mostly we go off foraging.

Snails taste nice, and are easy to catch but getting them out of their shells is proving a difficult skill to teach.... "OK, I'll show you how to do it ONE more time. Crunch it lightly with your teeth, roll it around with your paw like this to take off the sharp bits and voila! Yummy snail meat."

"No, no,no. Don't just bring me another one. YOU'VE got to do them!..."

Although they know that cars on the road are dangerous, and run away and hide when they approach, they've decided that my car while parked is really interesting.

There's chewy bits...

... and that funny 'mouse hole' thing at the back. It smells odd, and you can stick your paw down as far as you like, and you still can't reach the end...

BOB'S BACK!!...

Well, because of the recent drought, we were all very concerned for Bobs well being. He hadn't been seen since that Saturday night when he dared to cross the 'great path'. The lure of tasty discarded takeaway cartons had encouraged him to be reckless! The dry spell forced me to turn on the garden sprinkler, and Bob has grasped this window of opportunity to make the arduous trip home. He's back as if nothing has happened, settled down in his usual spot next to Zip. The only give away to his recent adventures is the slightly yellow staining of his former crisp white lettering, what has he been up to?!

Zip has been doing really well. Staying in his safety zone, and not straying too far he's had not even a bite of the foxgloves. They haven't come into flower yet so we will have to see if his resolve can last. Lets hope that Bob doesn't lead him astray...

This is Zips hangout, under the bay window next to the tree stump. Nice spot!

Bob, is not far away, but prefers to hang perilously from the vertical stonework. As you know he's got a wild side, a risk taker!

To be fair, Flash is a right lazy bugger! Barely moving from the corner of the garage and feasting nightly on MY chive and garlic plants. It's no wonder he's got so big.

He's even managed to find himself a luxury bachelor pad. Each time I lift it up to check on him, he's shacked up with some other younger snail! And he's probably taking them out to dine on MY herb garden. Cheek!!

Spot used to live in the same corner as Flash but seems to have become fed up with his behaviour and moved further up the border. Leaving a nomadic existence, I'm not sure that Spot is truly 'happy'. Don't worry, I'll keep a special eye on him...

As for Speedy, well, he is in here somewhere. He likes a varied diet and this takes him far and wide.

He is not in my good books at the moment. Thousands of plants and weeds to choose from, but no, go and eat my asparagus would you?!

Yes, I know it's you. I was really looking forward to that as well. How greedy are you? One and a half fully grown shoots in two days! I'm watching you...

It'll soon be time to have the first round up of the points tallied so far. The scoring system is complicated so it is not always clear who is in the lead. So we will just have to wait and see...

SNAILWATCH.....

Spring is here at last, and of course that means the return of our favourite warmer weather activity..."SNAILWATCH"... So, extend your 'ommatophores' as I introduce you to this years contestants...

"FLASH"...This is one of this years heavyweights! At two years of age this veteran knows his stuff;- stay away from the blue gravel, and when you hear the engine start, get the hell off the lawn!

"SPEEDY"...Our second largest competitor. Favourite foods:- Selections from the herb garden & BBQ scraps! As his name suggests, his more streamlined shape allows him to compete even with those Ferrari of suburbia, the "Leopard" slug!

"BOB"...Bob is a loner, a creature of the night, he has a dark side....but a surprising sense of humour! Choosing to live in the unpopular front garden, he relishes the nocturnal thrill of crossing the dangerous 'great path' and takes pleasure from reciting stories of the mythical 'fox giant' to the first year snails!

"ZIP"...Also lives in the front garden. The stress of this hard environment has taken its toll! In only his first year, led astray by some older snails, he had his first taste of "Foxglove", and has been fighting this addiction ever since. The 'digitalis' it contains has dulled his ganglia, made him lackadaisical and he has lost much of his former 'zip'. Bob, a wiser snail, although formerly very much a loner has recently taken him under his shell. Zip feels confident that with this support and the direction that this competition affords him, he can make a full recovery and go on to live a long and destructive life!

"SPOT"...Has always 'felt' different. All his freinds are "English garden" (Helix Aspera) snails, while he is the more showy "Grove" (Cepaea Nemoralis) snail. With his stripy shell (to camouflage against birds....now greatly compromised by having dirty great white letters across it!!) he has always had to contend with namecalling.

"Your mommy was a humbug", "Swiss roll boy", "Escargot", it all hurts....

Spot rises above all the constant bullying and, 'struts' his stuff!

The 'gang' meet up for one last time before being relocated to their allotted areas. As in previous years the contestants will receive points for distance travelled, 'daring' manouveres, foodstuffs eaten, overall speed, cheekiness, growth and many other catergories (as you know from previous years this is an evolving competition), so watch out for those 'bonus' rounds!

All contestants were relocated along with a token goodwill carrot slice. From now on no food will be provided. This is because of snails 'associative learning' capabilities, after all, it may seem clever to train a snail to 'heel' when called, but we should all agree this ruins the true sporting nature of this event!

Current locations-

FLASH- Northeast corner of garage, ground level, back garden.

SPEEDY- East edge of rose bed, back garden.

BOB- Front garden, near south corner of bay window.

ZIP- In Bobs shadow, (hang in there laddy).

SPOT- Near garage, under a bit of wood next to herbs (careful now).

Let the competition begin........