Tuesday, 3 April 2007


The body removed for thorough culinary examination, the crime scene is carefully photographed.
There are signs of a violent struggle...

The main suspect... Don't be fooled by the innocent fluffy looks, this lethal and ruthless predator would not hesitate to bite your face off if were not for the protective glass of the kitchen window. This 'drifter' often leaves a trail of destruction across the local area. Pawprints on cars, lick marks on windows and most worrying, fluff on clothes left out to dry...a menace to all! If you see or know the whereabouts of this cat, DO NOT under any circumstances 1.) Call it over to you. 2.) Feed it titbits. 3.) Tickle it behind it's left ear. 4.) Invite it in to sleep on the big comfy chair near the radiator.

This large razor sharp black machette was found close to the body, ongoing investigations are still trying to tie this in with the crimescene. If you have any information regarding the part that this object may have played in this incident then please phone 'Crime Busters' on the usual number.

It is beleived that the pidgeon in question although fatally injured did in fact survive the initial attack, but later it's head became loose and fell off! Detectives are baffled by this strange course of events. Again, if you can help us in any way then please get in touch.

The body, now prepared ready for the autopsy, is layed out on a concrete slab.

Damn... an unexpected second cat attack. The corpse rolls off onto the grass during the brief struggle!

Now, respectfully laid out, the small remains await the preperation of a suitable gravy... no, I mean grave. Grave is what I meant to say, honestly. Gravy, what was I thinking?...

The gruesome task of the post mortem is carried out. The verdict?..'Accidental death'. I suppose we will never know what really happened. The body was later cremated, well, when I say cremated I mean more sort of medium to well done.

1 comment:

Elisa, Jarrod & Thomas said...

Ok, you have way too mch time on your hands I think.

The cat looks innocent to me....way too fluffy to be guilty.