Friday, 13 April 2007


Well, due to the inclement warm weather and near drought conditions (just look at Shushstoke reservoir, never seen it this low even in mid summer! Boy, are we going to be short of water this year), Snailwatch has got off to a slow start... Many of the contestants have even been reticent to even break their epiphragms...NO!..That isn't rude..No, it isn't a 'coming of age thing'! Go and look it up.

This all changed last night, a heavy fog descended and this gave the moist conditions required to entice the little chaps out. So out I went in the dark with my head torch on to catch up on the latest action.

SPEEDY.. Has scarpered. He has left some 'acceleration' marks but has yet to be located.

BOB...Has also absconded. There are signs he may have traversed the 'great path' to the green plains and pansy fields to the east. He's a dark one with an eye stalk for danger, lets hope he hasn't wandered too far, beyond the safe hedge line to the 'slope of doom' where on a Saturday night it is told in snail folklore that 'the rain doth turn yellow'!!
ZIP...Has been abandoned by Bob, not unreasonably due to his complete lack of action. Not moved even a millimetre..Damn those Foxgloves, they destroy lives you know! Due to these 'special' circumstances, he may need to be lured out with some cucumber.
FLASH...He's a wise one..Sitting it out safe. Making his carrot slice last, and staying put just in case the drought continues into the weekend. He won't get many points this way but maybe he's biding his time.(Keep your eye on this one!)
SPOT...Where is he?.. "Is everything alright?", "Yes, I'm just looking for my snail!", "Night then", "Goodnight". That was the neighbour, he's come to accept the way things are. I saw Spot on the chives when I first came out, but now he's gone. This only compounds my theory that snails can "sprint". Maybe only for short distances, maybe only downhill and probably only when your back is turned, but how else do they get away so quick! I'll catch them doing it one day.

This is your opportunity. During my nocturnal observations, I have received many enquiries as to how 'I might get involved'. Plenty of volunteers (many supplying their own miniature pencils) have approached me willing to sign up. These chaps and chappettes need sponsorship (beware, fiscally this could leave you liable for up to 0.05p p/a) and more importantly ...names. The names obviously due to limited space, have to be reasonably concise. If you would like to be part of this growing competition then simply leave your choice of 'name' along with your preference of second or third year snail on the comments list!! HURRY.... The sooner you think of a name and get in on this competition, then the more points you have the chance to accrue...and possibly win!!


Elisa, Jarrod & Thomas said...

Ok I am better go and do a more thorough search for Bob!

barkfoot said...

Well, it might be 3.40 am Sat night, but if you're worried!...
Can't find him, but it's really dark. There are lot of discarded beer cans and takeaway trays on the pavement, you can bet your bottom dollar he's having a 'snail' of a time getting wasted and fat!
I can see that you have taken a shine to Bob, but just give me a name and you can adopt a snail 'chappy' of your own!

Russell Hill said...

Snail sprinting you say?

Did I ever tell you I can turn invisible...but I'm too shy to do it while you're have to turn away...

barkfoot said...

I knew it! That's why when you convinced me that it would be okay to skate down the school corridor with metal waste paper bins on my feet, and the head teacher came around the corner, suddenly I was alone!!